Kyla's Joy

A most insincere apology

2008-10-16T11:23:00.004-05:00

Dear blogspot,

I apologize for leaving you. However, I have decided to move on to bigger and better things. My friends are there, and truthfully, it's much prettier. I'm still working on making it look perfect, but you're welcome to visit any time. Let this be my last message to you. So to you, blogspot, may Google never control my life and may we never meet again.
Sincerely,
www.kylajoyful.wordpress.com

One man's opinion.

2008-10-07T14:59:00.002-05:00

Yes.

See this guy's blog.

Peace v. Sword

2008-10-01T08:43:00.003-05:00

Matthew 10:34-36

34"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn " 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - 36a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.

As a pacifist, I have to admit that I just don't understand this passage. At all. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Mercy Ministries

2008-09-26T08:47:00.003-05:00

I had the priveledge of having lunch with the ladies of Mercy Ministries. An organization I've known about and followed for awhile. I was led to their site this week and that set off a series of events. Enjoy the following description, and, if you're not involved in giving financially to an organization yet, I highly recommend this one.

"For over 25 years, Mercy Ministries of America has provided hope and healing to generations of desperate young women who are seeking freedom from life-controlling problems such as:
Drug & Alcohol Addictions, Eating Disorders, Depression, Unplanned pregnancy, Physical & Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm.

Our free-of-charge program serves a diverse population of young women from various socio-economic backgrounds, aged 13-28. Many of the girls, who come to Mercy for help, are facing a combination of debilitating circumstances and have been in various treatment facilities with unsuccessful long-term results. We are committed to providing the young women we serve with the most excellent program services that allow them to recognize their self-worth and prepare them to reach their full potential. Our non-conventional approach to healing allows young women to permanently stop destructive cycles and prepares them to take hope out into their communities."

Check them out.

Purpose and Affirmation

2008-09-24T11:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday during lunch, God and I had a little discussion. It consisted of me being frustrated with the purpose of life. Not just life in general, but my life. Through some of the things I've been reading lately, I'm seeing the world in terms of people groups, not individual people. This made me angry with God (or more specifically, angry at my lack of understanding) that he has created the world in a way where large groups of people matter, but individuals don't so much. Repeatedly, I thought of the people we never hear about - 13 year old Israelite girls who wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, 11 year old girls in the middle of the Congo who are caring for all of their family during a war, etc. The people that God allows to be tortured and suffer, along with their families. For what?

Then back to me - where do I fit in this world? What is my part besides living every day, attempting to pay off my school debt, and being kind to the people around me? Is there really any point to it all? Combine these thoughts with my own insecurities, and I was feeling just plain lost and frustrated.

Last night I went to my final CASA training. The last few weeks have been glorious as I've gone through this training. As time-consuming as it was, each class just filled me with joy as I saw that this is what brings me joy and fills my soul with passion. So at the last class a few things happened. There was a poem. Written in spanish, translated into English. As the only Spanish speaker in the room, I read it out loud, and was greatly encouraged when one of the CASA employeers pulled me aside and expressed that I speak beautiful spanish. Where did I learn it? This is going to be so good and helpful.
Fast forward 30 minutes to a group activity.

We were practing parts of a investigating a case. The group was to select a spokesperson to deliver the rest of the information. When we sat down to get started, the first thing someone said was "before we even get started I think Kyla needs to be our spokesperson, so let's just get that out of the way now". Okay, this might seem small, but felt significant. The last few weeks I've been slowly gaining confidence in my abilities, and only a few minutes before the group had eloquently given my thoughts about the quote "Work for justice, act with mercy". I have been affirmed over and over through this class that this is the field I was created to work in.
Sense of purpose? Affirmation and love from God?
I think He deserves some credit on this one. Father, thank you for loving me enough to give me affirmation and encouragement exactly when I need and ask for it.

Libertion Theology

2008-09-24T09:38:00.005-05:00

Currently reading...
Here's an excerpt from the introduction, page 14.

"Third world Christians think that people like us read the Bible from the vantage point of our privilege and comfort and screen out those parts that threaten us. They tell us that the basic viewpoint of the biblical writers is that of victims, those who have been cruelly used by society, the poor and oppressed. They further tell us that they are the contemporary counterparts of those biblical victims, cruelly used by contemporary society, the poor and oppressed. Consequently, when they hear the Bible offering hope and liberation to the oppressed of the ancient world, they hear hope and liberation being offered to them as the oppressed of the contemporary world. If God sided with the oppressed back then, they believe God continues to side with the oppressed here and now.
Is that what the Bible is really all about? Enough third world Christians are saying so, and living changed lives as a result, to impel us to explore the matter and see whether there might be a new word for us as well. We will do this by taking ten familiar biblical episodes and trying to see them through new eyes. The passages have been chosen both because they are important to third world Christians and because they are familiar to us. The texts give us a common meeting ground to compare different interpretations. As we see how others read the Bible, we may get a new understanding of what the biblical message says to us."
Unexpected News: Reading the Bible with Third World Eyes, Robert McAfee Brown

Word Made Flesh

2008-09-17T13:53:00.002-05:00

"We are called by Jesus Christ to birth communities which practice the presence and proclamation of the Kingdom of God among the poorest of the poor. These Kingdom communities will be placed and nurtured within the Two-Thirds World mega-cities. We believe nationals have the greatest opportunity for the intense identification necessary for on-going transformation among the urban poor.

Our method is incarnational.

Our means is community.

Our involvement includes advocacy for the poor, ministries of compassion and proclamation of the Good News. We exist that Jesus, the Living Word, be made flesh. Word Made Flesh seeks to enter these regions and others, to serve the poor by pioneering and partnering in mission while seeking to make Jesus, the living Word, flesh among the poor."

check it out: Wordmadeflesh.org

Food for Thought

2008-09-12T16:29:00.001-05:00

This made me think a little. Thought I'd share.

Shout-out to Quality

2008-09-12T15:39:00.005-05:00

As you may have noticed, I recently discovered the joys of the blog world. Sad, since it's been around for years, but I seem to have a little more time to committ to the online realm of communication nowdays. I've stumbled onto some excellent conversations, and find more daily. If you think of a blog that I may enjoy, feel free to post a comment and let me know about it!

Here are two that I think deserve a special shout-out.

Wonderings of a Wanderer

"As I am writing this, it seems, that I am simply rehashing a few Sunday School clichés. But there is such reassurance when you let the truth sink in. These last couple of weeks have been trying to say the least. But we have to remember that the life we have been given is not our own. God has purpose in everything. And his purposes are good."

KJ commentary: This is a blog of dear friends from my community. Not only does Eric have the best blogroll around (to keep me entertained if he hasn't posted for a few days), but his honest thoughts and opinions always encourage me in my spiritual journey.

Movement, Movement

"What if we were just for a hypothetical moment to consider some of our most entrenched beliefs to be wrong? What would life look like through that lens? What would our friends and family look like though that lens?

Would we, in knowing we could be wrong, be more honest? More transparent? More humble? More graceful? More dependent on each other?"

KJ Commentary: Now I wish I could say I know this guy. I feel like I do most days. Most of my friends have him listed on their blogroll so I stumbled into the relationship. Amos keeps my day moving forward with his entertaining comments, photos, and videos. Thank you, blogger, for telling me when there's been an update.

The unfortunate thing about this online realm, is that I don't have the priveledge of having in-person conversations with some of these people. But there are great joys in having the opportunity to know someone I might not have met before. So - stop reading my page and read theirs! You won't be disappointed.

Calling

2008-09-10T08:48:00.007-05:00

Career v. Calling
Job v. Vocation

What can I do with this moment?

If God has called me to something, nothing in the world will stop that from happening.

Pray.

Don't force life to happen.

Experience.

Journal.

Engage in conversation.

I'm busy thinking about a lot of things these days. Nothing new, I suppose, since my mind is always traveling faster than my body. After a conversation with a friend over dinner last night, I was reminded of some of the thoughts above. Did you know there is a difference between job and vocation? These are all thoughts I've had before, but that have been lost somewhere in the weeds along the path I've been on the last year.

It's been a rough one, the last year. For many of us. Life continues to suprise us. When we think we've got everything figured out, something new creeps into the pathway. What great joy it is to accept what each day has to offer. It's so easy for me to be frustrated or anxious about what I don't know. It's nice when a friend gently encourages me with a reminder, in a new way, that I live for Christ. And He loves me.

Keilah

2008-09-05T13:42:00.009-05:00

View Larger Map

When I met my new friend, Eric, he asked me what my name meant. I gave him the same answer I've always given. "It's from the Bible. 1 Samuel. David saves the city of Kyla".

Everyone has always been okay with that answer. But no, not Eric.
"A biblical name. That's cool. Where is the city of Kyla?"

Where?
Is?
It?

You'd think by now someone would have asked me that. But nope. And I've never thought about it, either. An Old Testament city. End of statement. End of thought.

Eric, being the cool guy that he is, encouraged me to do some research. So I skipped writing the grad school essay after lunch and did just that. I love the internet.

Apparently, it's located in Israel/Palestine, somewhere in between the cities of Beersheba and Hebron. That's not very specific, but hey -I'll take it. There are several descriptions of where it is located, but that research isn't happening today. Let me know if you are an expert in the area and can draw a map. For now, Maps.Google is going to have to suffice.

Reading Material

2008-09-05T10:10:00.004-05:00

Two years ago, I read The Alchemist for the first time. The next summer, I read it again. And now I'm picking it up once more. It's amazing to me how this book manages to challenge the core of me. Each paragraph somehow relates to my life at the moment, encouraging me where I'm at. This year, among other things, the more I read the more I'm convinced that I should be reading the Bible constantly. If The Alchemist can reach my innermost thoughts in only 167 pages, God's word must be able to do so much more. Yet somehow I keep putting it off, as author Paulo Coelho has my mind completely immersed in the journey of Santiago.

If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. Originally written in Portuguese, its been translated into fifty-six languages and sold millions of copies. I'd let you borrow my copy, but it's got all of my personal thoughts scribbled through it. Get your own.

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand." p.76

Things I'm Thinking About

2008-09-03T10:49:00.006-05:00

Here are a few (okay, many) things I've been thinking about:

- How little I know about what it really means to be healthy

- What does it mean to not run away

- Sometimes it's okay to run away.

- February looks like a good month to buy a house

- Should I buy a car first

- I question the sanity of all persons running for President

- I am really sick of DTRs

- I need to finish that grad school application

- I'll study for the GRE...tomorrow

- Finally, I'm doing things I've always wanted to

- Time for the yearly read of The Alchemist

- My best friend lives too far away

- What does it truly mean to live for today

- How do I love and support those that are close to me

when they make decicions that are opposite my beliefs

- What's for dinner?

There is no place like Nebraska

2008-09-02T10:36:00.004-05:00

Dear Old Nebraska U (There Is No Place Like Nebraska)

Words and Music by Harry Pecha, class of 1924

There is no place like Nebraska,

Dear old Nebraska U.

Where the girls are the fairest,

The boys are the squarest,

Of any old school that I knew.

There is no place like Nebraska,

Where they're all true blue.

We'll all stick together,

In all kinds of weather,

For dear old Nebraska U.

I went back to my old stomping grounds over labor day for a short weekend with my family. My friend Molly made the 12-hour trek with me, and we filled up the weekend watching my sis in the UNL marching band and hanging out at the Nebraska State Fair. My camera is currently out of commission, so you'll just have to imagine the pig races for yourself.

Excuse me, may I sit here?

2008-08-29T13:55:00.003-05:00

Today I enjoyed a delicious lunch at the Nashville Farmer's Market. Since I sit in an office all day long, I didn't want to waste the sunshine so, naturally, I sat outside for lunch. There were two tables outside that I saw, and one was occupied. From where I sat I could see the lovely Bicentennial mall, and the couple eating lunch at the other table. Now to the point.

What is it about our culture that says in that situation, you're invading someone's space? Now, if I had not been eating alone, it would not have been a "space invasion" at all. However, since I sat alone and just enjoyed the scenery, I'm sure the couple must have thought I was thouroughly enjoying their conversation (I didn't hear any of it, I promise). I truthfully didn't mind the awkwardness, and I'm sure they didn't either. In fact, Eric, being more confident than I today, initiated great conversation.

Still, I wonder, is this delicious awkwardness a human thing or a cultural thing? I'm going with cultural. Maybe we just like our space, or because I was alone and wasn't occupied, I really was only there to listen to their conversation. Or - maybe -because I was alone and unoccupied, I was the only one who thought it a strange situation!

Thank you, Eric, for great conversation and for giving me a topic for yet another blog post. For everyone else - go check out the Farmer's Market. I am taking fresh peaches and pears on my road trip this weekend! Happy Labor Day weekend.

Mercy Ships

2008-08-28T10:00:00.004-05:00

Here's a great organization I thought you should know about. Check out their blog here.

MISSION
Mercy Ships, a global charity, has operated a fleet of hospital ships in developing nations since 1978. Following the example of Jesus, Mercy Ships brings hope and healing to the poor, mobilizing people and resources worldwide.

VISION
Mercy Ships seeks to become the face of love in action, bringing hope and healing to the poor.

VALUES
Desiring to follow the example of Jesus, we seek to:
Love God
Love and serve others
Be people of integrity
Be people of excellence in all we say and do

Held

2008-08-23T23:49:00.002-05:00

This song by Natalie Grant has been loving on me this week.

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Yummy goodness

2008-08-22T10:42:00.003-05:00

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”- Romans 8:32

Encouragement: ask for only what you need for today.

CASA

2008-08-20T09:02:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I officially started training for a nation-wide volunteer program called CASA. Court Appointed Special Advocates work with children who are in the court systems as a result of abuse or neglect. CASA's mission is "to expedite the process through which these abused and neglected children find permanent, safe homes."

I became more and more excited as I sat through the introduction class. Working with children in the court systems has been my dream since I was 15, so this is the perfect opportunity to see if it's something that I will actually enjoy. Check out the program. I'll try to keep you posted on my experiences!

Reconcilliation through Redepmtion

2008-08-15T12:57:00.003-05:00

Recently, our church has been talking about Forgiveness and Reconcilliation. Each week I think "that's great - I get it", but I haven't really had to put it into practice. It really isn't as easy as it seemed while I was sitting in the middle of those sermons. However, this week reconcilliation has taken on an entire new meaning....

I hate how you've treated me. And I hate that I allowed you to do it. But I'm finally understanding what this whole "reconcilliation" thing means.

I love Jesus because of what he did for me. I was nothing. And now, through Him, I am beautifully made and whole.

You were nothing. And now, through Him, you are beautifully made and whole.

And I can still hate what has happened.

But I no longer hold it against you.

Through The Cross, I can love you.

Through The Cross, I can forgive you.

Jesus has redeemed you.

You are no longer held responsible for the way you treated me.

Now don't think this means that we are going to be friends. It doesn't even come close to meaning that. We've been through this before and I moved on. We went through it again and I moved on. A third time. How could I be loving to you if I let this happen again? Change has not happened. But it will now.

It's okay if you don't change. I don't expect you to be what I want you to be.

But I don't have to allow this to continue.

You are loved. You are redeemed. You are forgiven.

And I have changed.

I used to love you because of myself. Because I wanted to love you out of my own personality, character, will.

Now I love you because of Jesus. Because of His personality, character, will.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

Waiting

2008-08-13T08:23:00.004-05:00

What is this pain that I cannot bear alone?
Yesterday: anger.
Today: pain.
Tomorrow: unknown.
Each day: Christ.

Jeremiah 29

2008-08-11T09:04:00.003-05:00

Jeremiah 29

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

I read a book last week that emphasized verse 11 above and have been repeating it to myself all weekend. This is such a great comfort to me in this time of my life! As my friend Jared noticed yesterday, I'm "itching" for something to happen. Like the well known hymn below, every hour I'm constantly attempting to look to Christ and trust that I'm in the place He wants me to be, and that my future is under His control.

Refrain
I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

Words:
Annie S. Hawks, 1872.
Music:
Robert Lowry

Peace Reflection

2008-07-31T15:31:00.000-05:00

"Even as evil cannot be overcome by evil, so peace and harmony cannot be attained by war," said the seven-paragraph "Appeal for Peace," released from the Serbian Orthodox Patriarchate. "To be a peacemaker is the greatest duty and most noble obligation of every man. That is why we are not afraid to be the first to extend the hand of peace to one another. In the name of our future and our common life together, we pray to God and appeal to all men of good will to endeavor with maximum effort to end this war and resolve the problems by peaceful means."
The document was signed by Serbian Patriarch Pavle, Catholic Archbishop Franc Perko, Mufti Hamdija Jusufspahic and Rabbi Isak Asiel, all of Belgrade. Together, they called for all bombing and fighting to cease and for the return of refugees to their war-ravaged homes - both the ethnic Albanians fleeing the paramilitary units of Slobodan Milosevic or Serbs fleeing the Kosovo Liberation Army.

Read the full article here: http://tmatt.gospelcom.net/column/1999/06/09/?printable=1

Weekend Recap

2008-07-28T09:05:00.003-05:00

Psalm 33

22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

That verse is a perfect reflection of what I'm feeling right now. A greater understanding of the Lord's unfailing love. Resting in and hoping in Him.

I had an incredible weekend. So great, that I couldn't fall asleep last night. Which then caused me to oversleep this morning. Since I was late to work (and tired), I'm feeling stressed about the week. This verse is going to give me hope and rest throughout the day.

Now let me tell you about my weekend!

Friday: Dinner & Discussion group. Topic: War & Peace. A fantastic discussion full of agreements and disagreements, challenging thoughts and encouragement. I love this community.

Saturday: Are you ready to hear about this amazing day?

After sleeping in (such a simple pleasure) I enjoyed breakfast at Athens with my friend, Scott. We then ventured to the lake for an afternoon of friends and watersports. Yes, I am now in pain from failed attempts at wakeboarding.

I left the lake and went home to get ready for a date. We went to Italia, a local pizza place for their tasty White Pizza. And I just must say, that the pizza was delicious but the company was wonderful. I wish I could tell you more, but I prefer to keep those details to myself! All you need to know is that I can't wait to go out with him again.

Moving on. After that fantastic memory, I enjoyed swing dancing in the park. For the first time in my life, I entered a swing dance competition. My dear friend and excellent dancing partner, Luke, and I danced to the final round for a 3rd place finish. Really, could this day get any better?

Sunday: I spent the morning helping Adam pack up his house so that he can move 2 blocks away to his new pad. We enjoyed a great lunch at Batter'd & Fried (Jared- they have Ceviche!). Later I enjoyed catching up with Sarah about her recent bike trip to Ireland, then off to worship with the City Church community. The day ended on a double-date with my roommate at Sunset Grill.

The only thing that could have made this weekend more perfect was if it had taken place in the Caribbean!

Perfect Love

2008-07-25T15:02:00.002-05:00

I have a lot of thoughts going on right now, ones I wish that I could put words to and share with you. However, most of them are extremely personal and I have so far attempted to be careful sharing those online. So, I spent 30 minutes in a google images search typing in words associated with what I was feeling. And--I failed. It's hard to put feelings into pictures!

What I finally realized I was looking for was an even deeper understanding of perfect love. As a single woman, I've been on a search for a meaningful opposite-sex relationship. As I've spent months dating, I've come to a deeper understanding of Christ and His love for me. Although a great man may come close and meet many of our needs, the photo below finally summarizes the only perfect love I or you will ever find.

Peace

2008-07-23T08:59:00.009-05:00

I was on a walk with a friend last night and kept thinking about the word "peace". We were walking on a path that always makes me feel peaceful, which made me think more about what peace means to me. So, I turned to my new friend biblegateway and typed in the word. Enjoy the following verses that I chose because of the picture they drew for me. Peace may mean something different for everyone, but for me it's when the twisted, busy world seems to disappear for a moment and all I know is that God is good. When the rest of the world disappears and I feel calm. May you find peace at some point in your day today.

1 Chronicles 16
27 Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy in his dwelling place.

Psalm 4
8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 17
15 And I—in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.

Isaiah 54
10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,"says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Luke 1
79to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace."

Confession

2008-07-21T09:32:00.002-05:00

Since moving to Nashville, I have, for the first time in my life, begun a journal of sermon notes. I like pasting parts of the bulletin inside the journal, such as songs or scripture. This morning I was doing just that and thought I would post some of what I have here.

An important part of worship each week is a time of Corporate Confession and Repentance. I came to treasure this moment in woship when I was introduced to it through Washington Community Fellowship, Washington, D. C. Confession has become so important to me, because I realize that I would not take time to do so otherwise, and when I'm confessing the deepness of my humanity - so are 100 other people in the same room. I hope you appreciate the confession below, and that it allows you to grasp the fullness of Christ and His great mercy.

Gracious God,

our sins are too heavy to carry,

too real to hide,

and too deep to undo.

Forgive what our lips tremble to name,

what our hearts can no longer bear,

and what has become for us

a consuming fire of judgment.

Set us free from a past that we cannot change;

open to us a future in which we can be changed;

and grant us grace

top grow more and more in your likeness and image;

through Jesus Christ, the light of the world. Amen.

LORD God, so many of us so often are so fruitless. We know our lives should count for you but we see no fruit, no outworking of your presence. You tell us - and we agree - that this happens when...

We put our trust in our neighbors and our confidence in our friends instead of upon you. Forgive us.

We treat others, even our own parents, with contempt, and fail to live at peace even with those in our own family. Forgive us.

We don't hope in you - the God of our salvation - with the confidence that you will hear us when we pray. Forgive us.

In recognizing these things, we look away from ourselves now and rejoice in Jesus, in whom all our sins are now cast into the depths of the sea. Because of him, you pardon our iniquity and pass over our transgressions. Because ofhim you delight in your steadfast love and have compassion on us through your covenant of peace. For Jesus has tread ouriniquities under his fee, so we approach you with humility and confidence, as we pray in his name. Amen.

Anxious

2008-07-18T09:03:00.007-05:00

This week I've been dealing with a great deal of anxiety. Mostly over relationships. Okay, so it's all because of relationships. I've told myself many times that I don't have to worry, but that hasn't seemed to help. I've listened to sermons online every day at work, and have been digging into scriptures. However, I still kept hoping that I could figure this out on my own. I knew the scripture "do not be anxious about anything..." and thought "yeah, yeah. I know. But I really don't want to think about that right now, I can figure something out on my own."

How silly is that?

I don't want to be anxious, but I refuse to trust in what I know will take away the anxiety. Being human is such a mess.

So today I gave in and typed in 'anxiety' at Biblegateway.com and of course, found the passage below.

Phillipians 4

5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The passage reads differently to me while I'm in the midst of great anxiety than it did when I memorized it as a child. It helps to read a verse in context, I only knew verse 6.

The Lord is near.

He is here with me, in the midst of my thoughts and desires. He knows and sees me. I am not alone.

with thanksgiving

I can already thank the Lord for hearing my prayers and responding to them. I have faith that he will do what I ask for, and the result will be astounding. I don't need to worry about figuring out my relationship issues on my own - why should I worry myself about something that's already under control by someone much more capable than myself?

peace of God

Life without worry or anxiety. Quiet, still. Like the hammock under my apple tree.

transcends all understanding

I'll never figure it out. And I don't have to.

guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Ah. So I don't have to guard my own heart. Christ can do it for me. I just have to live each day with Him.

Road Trip Miracles

2008-06-25T22:41:00.003-05:00

Sloppily written...but gets the job done.

I went to Mississippi for the weekend and on my way home, between Bolivar and Jackson TN, my car died. I didn't have cell service so all I could do was pray that someone would stop to help me. I popped the hood and stood staring at it, praying that whoever stopped would be a mechanic. Toby, a DCS worker in Jackson, saw me break down and turned around to help me out. Thinking it was the alternator, he said he'd install a new one for me if that was the case. So after jump-starting the car 3 times we were able to drive it back to Bolivar to an Auto parts store.

The car died again as I pulled into the parking lot so I coasted to a spot. After determining that indeed, the alternator was dead and this auto store didn't have a new one, we took Toby's truck (I completely trusted him at this point) to the Auto Zone that he used to manage down the road. On the way I found out he works on stereos as a hobby. Interestingly, my car radio works but the CD player has been broken so I mentioned it to him. He reached under the seat of his truck and pulled out not one, but two new CD players that he happened to have in his truck.

He then proceeded to install my new alternator. After that, he checked out my CD player and before I knew it, he was taking out my old one and installing a new one - refusing to let me buy the new one from him. He didn't allow me to pay him, or buy him dinner, he just took care of me. And our conversation leaves me confident that it wasn't because he was hoping to get something else out of the deal.

As I was driving the rest of the way home, feeling very loved and acknowledged by God, I thought "I am a really healthy, whole person. I like that and I'm glad to finally feel that again." The next thought that went through my head was, "wait. yesterday I wasn't." Although Toby's kindness gave me encouragement and comfort that I am not alone, I am still not whole. I'm still completely screwed up, broken, and empty. Wholeness only comes through Christ every single day, I'm always going to be a mess no matter what I do. And...that's where I'm at today.

World Map

2008-06-14T09:46:00.002-05:00

I stole this off of Eric's blog. I don't think I even need to comment. It speaks for itself.

New Job

2008-06-12T17:28:00.002-05:00

Yes, that's right. On Monday, I start a new job!! It's been a long, tiring process trying to find a job since I left the CCCU last July.
Friday is my last day at Applebee's. I can't say enough how glad I am for the
experience, and even more glad that it's over. Ta-ta!

Monday I will be the new Care Coordinator with Catholic Charities in TN. I will be working in the Bridges to Care program, assisting uninsured folks with finding health care. To top it off, I will get to use some mad Spanish-speaking skills.

It's been almost a year since I've been in the "professional" field. Please pray for me on Monday! Thanks!

Our Great Savior

2008-06-06T21:08:00.005-05:00

I love reading hymns and digging deeper into their meanings. This one sunk deep into my heart yesterday as I was in the midst of dealing with my own inadequacies.

Our Great Savior
J. Wilbur Chapman

Jesus! what a Friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Savior, makes me whole.

Hallelujah! what a Savior!
Hallelujah! what a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.

Jesus! what a Strength in weakness!
Let me hide myself in Him.
Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,
He, my Strength, my victory wins.

Jesus! what a Help in sorrow!
While the billows over me roll,
Even when my heart is breaking,
He, my Comfort, helps my soul.

Jesus! what a Guide and Keeper!
While the tempest still is high,
Storms about me, night overtakes me,
He, my Pilot, hears my cry.

Jesus! I do now receive Him,
More than all in Him I find.
He hath granted me forgiveness,
I am His, and He is mine.

Hallelujah! what a Savior!
Hallelujah! what a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.

Rodeo

2008-06-04T12:21:00.001-05:00

I went to my first rodeo. Enjoy the photos!

Photos!!

2008-06-03T20:34:00.001-05:00

I'm a little behind on the times. These photos are over a month old. But as they say, "better late than never".

Trust

2008-06-03T20:18:00.003-05:00

Trust

It's like so many other things in life
to which you must say no or yes.
So you take your car to the new mechanic.
Sometimes the best thing to do is trust.

The package left with the disreputable-looking
clerk, the check gulped by the night deposit,
the envelope passed by dozens of strangers—
all show up at their intended destinations.

The theft that could have happened doesn't.
Wind finally gets where it was going
through the snowy trees, and the river, even
when frozen, arrives at the right place.

And sometimes you sense how faithfully your life
is delivered, even though you can't read the address.

-Thomas R. Smith, from Waking before Dawn.

Thanks, Sarah.

What is Poverty?

2008-05-31T23:44:00.000-05:00

Is poverty a state of being, a state of mind, or a combination of the two?
I've been thinking more about poverty recently, as I'm realizing more and more my financial state of, well, not having a lot to live off of.
I see how easy it is to sacrifice beliefs, wants, ideas, and dreams just because life gets in the way. There are a lot of dreams in Nashville, but also bills that have to be paid. If I don't want to live on the street, I have to have a job that pays enough for rent, college loans, groceries, and transportation. That requires some sacrifices I never thought that I would be willing to make. This has made a huge impact in my experience in Nashville. What I'm finding, is that I'm not alone. There are many who live here who are experiencing the same thing. What makes me think I'm the only one?
To add a little fun to the question and the thought process, check out the map and website below.
http://www.solarnavigator.net/poverty.htm

Hugs.

2008-05-01T17:55:00.007-05:00

I bought a new shirt this week. Since I never buy clothes, this is a big deal. An even bigger deal is that it's the first article of clothing I've ever owned that, without a doubt, reveals my personality.

I have to give kudos to Adam Trapani for the shirt idea and for his fantastic band. Please come to the Adam Trapani show at the French Quarter on May 10th! You can buy your own awesome yellow t-shirt from the new merch girl. I hear there will even be a special 2-for-1 deal.

First Kiss.

2008-04-16T22:45:00.004-05:00

This made a great ending to my day. I hope you smile, too.

What's my reaction time?

2008-04-16T00:14:00.003-05:00

Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Seriously, how does he do that?
There are so many times that the Bible mentions the word Anger. This must be a real issue for us mortals. I'm learning about my anger tonight. I'm not an angry person by nature, but there are certain things that really set me off. Then once I'm angry, I'm extremely angry. Although thankfully, it doesn't take long for me to cool down. I just have to talk it out once with one person for 20 minutes or so and I'm good.

I'm angry when someone hurts another person and I see it happen. I'm angry if it's out of my control. I want to say something, to change or fix the situation, but sometimes we just can't do that. I'm angry when someone acts purposefully to hurt another. And once I'm angry - watch out! I'm extremely angry and am not afraid to say something hurtful. How hypocritical.

Luke 6:42
How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I'm not sure where to draw the line between admitting that I have done something wrong, and pointing out another person's wrongs. Sometimes people just don't know that they've been an idiot. If you don't know, I'd be glad to point it out. However, that won't always help, will it. Just like I had to figure out my stupid mistakes for myself, you'll have to figure out your own. I just wish we could all save each other some heartache by trusting each other enough to be truthful and facilitate great change.

Hebrews 3:12-14 (Darby Translation)

12See, brethren, lest there be in any one of you a wicked heart of unbelief, in turning away from [the] living God. 13But encourage yourselves each day, as long as it is called To-day, that none of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 14For we are become companions of the Christ if indeed we hold the beginning of the assurance firm to the end;

*biblegateway.com

I heart DC

2008-04-07T10:34:00.001-05:00

Last week I revisited my old stomping grounds for a LASP reunion. Before I left, I was concerned that I wouldn't return to Nashville. And my first two days in the capital city kept me thinking the same.

Then I remembered, I left DC in pursuit of something it couldn't offer. The south!

My time there was full of incredible conversations. Reuniting with LASP friends gave us time to hear what the others have been doing with their lives in the last 4 years, and encourage one another as we pursue our individual careers and life callings. It didn't hurt that I gave them my "bus tour" of DC and we saw nearly the entire city in one day. That was a great feeling for me, seeing old places that were so important to me. It was as if, stop by stop, I could let them go from my mind. I had been holding on to the city and my community so tightly, that I couldn't move forward in Nashville. Now I know that I love my community there, and they will always be there, but as my dear friend told me before I left "I have community in Nashville, too".

I spent some precious time with my close friends from the city, including my mentor the lovely Margery and my old housies. I even had time to spend with my favorite neighbors, the lady in the Tienda Latina, and to take a photo with my cashier at Safeway!

The conversations reminded me and empowered me to continue pursuing what I came to Nashville to pursue. I am applying for jobs like a mad woman (my best friend is editing my cover letter as I type this), spending quality time with community, attempting to spend more time with family, and loving Jesus. Overall, the trip left me feeling refreshed and motivated.

I'll post pictures once I get them. Thanks for letting me share!

Social Work and Social Justice

2008-03-26T22:20:00.004-05:00

In my process to figure out my calling I've thought much about becoming a full-time social worker. Although I'm realizing that social work takes many forms. So what is social work exactly? It is the same as social justice?

Just last week I heard about a woman whose Dad taught her to smoke crack. That ticks me off. She hates him for it, yet she still smokes with him on occasion. It makes her miserable because she doesn't like the way she views herself because of doing this. So why does she still make the decision to use the drug? Is it because as much as she believes that her dad is a terrible dad, she still wants some sort of love and respect from him? Things that he will never give her.
I translate for the John School, a court-ordered program for men who have been arrested soliciting prostitution. Now that brings many stories, but the one of interest is the woman who talks to them about her former life as a prostitute. She will tell you that she would do whatever it took to fulfill her need for drugs. Then she continues to say that what she was really looking for was love and acceptance, which she thought came from drugs, then men, but those didn't fill the emptiness in her life. She was raised (if you could call it that) by parents who didn't really exist in her life.
Then there are those who have mental illnesses and can't care for themselves,or those who have been abused so badly they don't have the physical ability to trust, and those who have made so many bad decisions in their life that their choices leave them always wanting.

How many stories are there? Too many too think about. Where is justice for people whose lives have brought them experiences that many of us don't want to consider? Can I as a social worker bring justice, or is it just a Band-Aid?
If Christ brings true justice, and I do my best to love people in a way that brings Christ to them, I believe that is pursuit of justice. But quite often I will be doing no more than allowing certain people to make it to the next day in their lives. Where is the justice in that?

Why Nashvegas?

2008-03-06T23:21:00.005-06:00

I am regularly asked why I moved from DC to Nashville. Here's the story.

I was working at this awesome job with the CCCU. The only problem was that my heart knew I didn't want to remain in an office job as my life-long career, and that I was missing out on some things I really enjoyed. These things included speaking Spanish, getting to know people, and being the social person that I am. I knew I had to leave my job, which was a particularly difficult decision since I had a seat reserved on a flight to Uganda for September, I didn't know what to do next, and I loved the Council. Leaving the job meant no trip to Africa. It also meant that I had no income! Thankfully, I have had enough education to teach me that I should always have money saved up for things like this. I prepared to live for three months in D. C. without a job, so that I could spend time looking for what I wanted to do.

So I applied to graduate school at George Mason University. It was perfect timing. I had in-state tuition, references wrote letters overnight for me, I met a friend who was in the same program, I could walk to classes, and I didn't have to take the GRE.

My last day at the Council was July 13th, and my community gathered with me to celebrate the change in life. My family was vacationing in D. C. as well so they were there to tell me that I was crazy for leaving a job without another one lined up. So what did I do next? I went on vacation. The end of which was the annual Cofer Family Reunion in Mississippi.

When I arrived at the reunion, my family was interested in my change of plans. Several different family members invited me to live with them. I could have moved to Florida, Tennessee, Alabama, or Mississippi. The same weekend my roommate called me from D. C. to read me my grad school acceptance letter.

I spent a great amount of time with God that weekend. Through that, I became confident of one thing. God loved me greatly and that either decision was not right or wrong, it was just a decision. I could pick either one and it would work out for God's glory. I could choose where my heart called loudest.

And you know the rest of the story. Nashville called loudly because I knew that I had community outside of my family members here. Forming relationships with my family is extremely important to me, but I was concerned about putting too much hope in that we would be close and knew that it would be important to have other community. So I declined graduate school and spent my savings to move to Music City.

I struggled with the decision for some time at the beginning of this year. Transition is never easy, and it was exemplified for me by the fact that I couldn't find a job in the career field I wanted. I know have much more peace about being here, as I have been strengthened in numerous ways. The challenges have forced me to grow in directions that I was unprepared for, but I am confident that God will use those challenges so that He will be honored.

I hope this helps to give a better picture of what is going on in my life. Since it's 3:00 in the morning, I think I'll end now. Please feel free to ask questions that might merit another post! Goodnight.

Hearing God's Heart

2008-03-06T22:57:00.005-06:00

I was a little angry with God last night. Several of my friends are going through some trying times. Deaths in the family, overabundance of stress, life transitions, etc are bringing them to a point of constant turmoil. Although I didn't blame God, I was angry with him for allowing these events to occur. As I was expressing my frustrations to Him this morning on my way to work, I surprised myself by asking "where have you been? Don't you see that your people are hurting? Why aren't you hearing their hearts?" The response surprised me more than me asking question.

"Kyla, where have you been? Why haven't you listened to MY heart?"

In that moment I realized what I've always known but never understood. God wants my love and care just as much as I want his. He is experiencing trials and frustrations every waking second. He is watching people suffer with life all over the world. What have I done to care for God's heart? In the same way that I want to encourage and support my dear friends through their trials, maybe God wants me to encourage and support Him. Does He need or want that from me? What would it look like for me to say "wow, that must have really hurt you to see her suffer. To see him in pain. To see them in torment. How you must be heart broken."

The joy is that there is redemption for our pain. God did send Christ to save the world, and in the end, the pain and suffering will be no more. But for now, I will weep with Him for the world and remember that part of my responsibility here is to love Him by the way I love others.

On the lighter side:
My coworker tried to convince me tonight that the reason I'm "happy all the time" is because I smoke marijuana. I wonder what I would be like if I really did smoke? I had the pleasure of telling him where my true joy comes from. He said he understood because he also believes in Jesus. I just hope that one day this man will experience the difference between believing in Jesus and knowing Him! But until then - let's just hope that he at least knows that I'm not a drug addict. Unless marijuana really isn't a drug....but that's a discussion for another day.

Oh How He Loves You And Me

2008-03-01T10:07:00.003-06:00

Do you know the song?
Oh how he loves you and me
Oh how he loves you and me
He gave his life,
What more could He give?

God certainly knows how to love on us, doesn't he? Not only did he give everything for us, as the song above says, but he knows when we need some extra loving, and knows exactly how to do that. Allow me to explain further.

Everyone has there bad days, and I definitely have my share of them. However, yesterday was an extremely low day for me. So many things piled on at once, and to top that off, the day was dreary and gray with rain. It's been months and months since I've cried, and that's all I wanted to do yesterday. I was emotionally exhausted and at the end of my rope. You get the picture.

I worked a double shift yesterday. The morning and Applebee's and the evening at my new job, with an hour to rest in between. Beginning with Applebee's, people just loved on me all day long. Through hugs and words of encouragement, God just piled it on! I even had an excellent "interview" with the top dogs at Applebee's to talk about management (don't ask). It seemed everyone had something good to say, and we were busy enough to help me keep my mind off of my emotions as well.

Then there was the new job - New Orleans Manor (check it out - great food). On day 2 there, the cook heard my request from earlier in the week and brought in platanos, or plantains, to share. He took much effort to make me a special dish, a sopapilla with ice cream and plantains. He put a lot of effort and time into this dish, and it was worth every minute. This was the best part of my day, and quite possibly the week. I wish you could have tried it, as every bite said "God loves you"

My day ended wonderfully, my GM told me I could rest this morning and took me off of the schedule, so now I'm at home, feeling loved and calm, and looking forward to a splendid day. I know I'm loved, and my prayer is that today you will know this also.

Thank you for tulips

2008-02-26T22:33:00.005-06:00

A wonderful follow-up to my previous post that needs to be shared. This was emailed to me from someone I can't wait to meet. Enjoy and leave your comments.

Let us also contribute to the conversation on relationships as a reflection on metaphors...when looking for analogies about relationships it is very tempting to use subjects of means i.g. cars, houses, books, refrigerators, computers, what have you. All of things of ownership, which are judged and critiqued based on a variety of criteria and merit. Further, all these object/things are not ends in themselves...but means to ends i.e. cars for transportation, houses for shelter, refrigerators for keeping alcohol cold. It's tempting to treat people in this same manner (despite how much you are trying to be considerate)... whether they are friends, family, or strangers. This person is good because they look X, or they are great because they do Y, they have Z and said 123. We then can check (or uncheck) our 'consumer report' to identify whether they meet, exceed, or fail standard specifications.

I would suggest we adopt a different paradigm for synthesizing your relationships between sexes, friends, family etc. Might we use organic metaphors of biology...things that grow and transform. Things that change and surprise us. Things which cause us to be more reflective on how we interact...things that cant necessarily be owned and controlled. Plants for example. Just because Idon't think it's beautiful today doesn't mean it wont be beautiful tomorrow (and vice versa). As a tree grows, it will never be the tree of yesterday. My perspective and perceptions change as it changes, as does my personal relationships. I care for them for what they ARE, and not what they can or cant do for me...or what i can or cant make them do.

Looking at women as cars has typically been a misogynistic perspective. You keep cars in the garage, you use them for own image, or use them to do whatever you want them to do. Let's adopt metaphors which contribute value to both sexes...and encourages to see all people with inherent value because of what they are and not for another reason.
-Jesse Walls

An another note - I want to say Thanks to God for the wonderful things he has done.

My friend Roger will be going home soon after living away from his wife for many months!
I was given a second job after praying that I needed a job to fall into my lap. Not exactly what I was looking for, but God knows better than me.
A fantastic sister and friend who knew what to say at the right time to help me clarify my thoughts and give me peace about a situation.
Two years of living and working in DC which transformed me in miraculous ways.
He spoke Spanish through me at a crucial event which I was not capable of translating for.
Developing of relationships
Time
Bringing me to a place where I know without a doubt that I am exactly where He wants me to be.

Notes from the CCCU fan club

2008-02-26T22:05:00.003-06:00

You know you've worked at the CCCU when....

You cry when you find out that the home staff has changed and someone is moving on.
You attend a random required restaurant class and find yourself begging someone to go to RSP before even mentioning MESP.
You mention the above and the random person never even asked you about studying abroad in the first place, but you noticed that they attend a CCCU school.
It's strange to you that your co-workers don't know or care about the confusion in your life.
You see a picture of yourself with Marge and you try and yell to the other room to ask her a question.
Your date doesn't really know you until he says "I'll c - c- c- u - later"
Your date thinks that Potts is what you cook in and TMatt is a fancy word for coaster.

Reflexiones

2008-02-21T18:18:00.000-06:00

Hoy, te escribo en español. No he escribido en español hace mucho tiemp, entonces por ustedes que en verdad entienden, disculpame por mi gramatica fea.

Estoy pensando mucho en cosas Latinos esos dias. Estoy segura que saben del resignación de Fidel Castro. La verdad es que estoy un poco triste, por que es el fin de un tiempo misteriosa en la vida del país. Mucho ha pasado en los años del Fidel. Hizó muchos cambios, algunas buenas y algunas malas (como los presidentes de los estados unidos, ¿no?). Me interese que pasará en este año en Cuba. Anoche soné de Cuba y estoy esperando que un día cuando puedo visitar este país magnifico.

En otras noticias, mi mamá me llamó y me dijó que usé demasiados minutos en mi celular, entonces tengo q encontrar dos más trabajos para pagarlo. Mi oracion este día es por un trabajo nuevo y bueno que me encanta y que me pagan suficiente.

Psalm.

2008-02-13T10:12:00.000-06:00

I call to the Lord for help;
I plead with him.
I bring him all my complaints;
I tell him all my troubles.
When I am ready to give up,
he knows what I should do.

Lord, I cry to you for help;
you, Lord, are my protector;
you are all I want in this life.
Listen to my cry for help,
for I am sunk in despair.
Save me from my enemies;
they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my distress;
then in the assembly of your people I will praise you
because of your goodness to me.

I will proclaim your greatness, my God and king;
I will thank you forever and ever.
Every day I will, thank you;
I will praise you forever and ever.

The Lord is great and is to be highly praised;
his greatness is behone understanding.
What you have done will be praised from one generation to the next;
they will proclaim your mighty acts.

They will speak of your glory and majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.
People will speak of your mighty deeds,
and I will proclaim your greatness.
They will tell about all your goodness
and sing about your kindness.

Your rule is eternal, and you are king forever.
The Lord is faithful to his promises;
he is merciful in alll his acts.
He helps those who are in trouble;
he lifts those who have fallen.

Don't put your trust in human leaders;
no human being can save you.
When they die, they return to the dust;
on that day all their plans come to an end.

The Lord sets prisoners free
and gives sight to the blind.
He lifts those who have fallen;
he loves his righteous people.
He protects the strangers who live in our land;
he helps widows and orphans,
but takes the wicked to their ruin.
The Lord is king forever.
Your God, O Zion, will reign for all time.

Praise the Lord!

Portions of Psalm 142, 145, and 146

An All-around Good Day

2008-02-08T10:43:00.000-06:00

Yesterday started off waking up at my dear friend's house, after a night of brownies and a great movie. Thanks, girl - that was fun! From there I headed home to read a good book, attempt a crockpot meal for the first time (it turned out badly, in my opinion), and spend time with my housemate. For lunch I enjoyed a Vegetarian hotdog at I Dream of Weanie in Five Points with a friend from college. I ran into this woman and her husband earlier this week at a restaurant. It turns out they live very close to me! What great news. After hot dogs, we enjoyed many of the local shops including The Groove , Great Stuff!, The Trunip Truck, and a Wine shop. We were killing time so that we could have ice cream at Pied Piper, the local homemade ice cream shop. I can't wait to grocery shop at the Turnip Truck, or go on more dates at Pied Piper. I live in the best part of Nashville right here - come and visit!

After lunch I felt a sense of accomplishment when I broke out the sewing machine and fixed a shirt for work. I'm finally moved in.

A friend of mine is remodeling a house and attempting to live in it at the same time. Yesterday was a break-through day with the purchase of appliances and the painting of the kitchen. I don't like to see my friends stressed, and I know that was a huge stress-reliever. Congrats on being one step closer to a completed home!

At work last night, one of my favorite families that I serve came in. It was their daughter's 6th birthday and she wanted to eat at Applebee's so that I could sing to her. What a joy that was to have a little girl excited to take pictures with me for her birthday. I'm also invited to the birthday party tomorrow, and I just might go.

Last but definitely not least - my dad received a promotion yesterday! My parents will be moving across state in the spring. A little intimidating for them, but this is the right timeing. I am so excited for them and can't wait to help move. Congratulations, Dad! I'm so proud of you!

Women are like cars.

2008-02-01T20:43:00.000-06:00

I have finally moved into my own place! I was just telling my roommate that something about moving to this place has given me a sense of empowerment that I have never had. It's really fantastic. I love my house, my new roommates, my new possibilities.

I finally feel like transition is happening. Since moving here one week ago, I have finally called back people who mean the world to me but who I have not kept in touch with. The move created a stress reliever for me that gave me time and encouragement to get some other things done (including applying for more jobs).

My time here has been the best time of my life so far. I am enjoying and growing in community in a mighty way. Every day, someone new comes into my life that I am able to bless or that blesses me. And then there's men. Either there are more of them in this part of the country, or they have more courage than the ones in DC. Either way, there are certainly more of them interested in me than ever before. I've had more conversations about relationships than I ever have - and I'm a woman - I talk about men all of the time! So thank you, men in Tennessee. You have not only given me a great conversation topic and made my life more interesting, but you have given me great joy in the last few months through your conversations.

I was just talking with my new friend, Tony, about relationships. It turns out that Tony has great insight into relationships. We just met this week but have already had some great conversations. I thought I would share tonight's analogy with you.

Yes, chemistry is important. Whether or not you are attracted to another person is important. However, it's what's on the inside that counts. It's like a car. You can be attracted to the body, but the important thing is that the engine works. A great sports car will look good when you're standing next to it, but if the engine doesn't run or has something seriously wrong with it, you're going to waste your time and money!

Skunk

2008-01-25T09:15:00.000-06:00

Just in case you ever needed to know, here is the recipe for taking a skunk smell off of a dog:

pint hydrogen peroxide
2/3 cup baking soda
1 tablespoon of citrus-based liquid soap

Then add a can of Oust to the surrounding area and you're good to go!

And to add an update:
I'm moving to my own place on Saturday. It's close to church so that I can create community with my neighbors and my church. I'm still attempting to find a "real" job, and I'm upset that I missed a month's worth of episodes of Chuck.

It's a Small World, After All

2008-01-16T17:39:00.000-06:00

Today I served a man who is in town for a few weeks, but just happens to actually live down the street from where I moved from in Virginia. Weird. I miss you, Edison St.
Last week I went swing dancing and met a cool girl, Shawna. The next night at church, Shawna sat right next to me. We are now going to be roommates.
My friend Erin from grade school took a vacation to D. C. and spent a lot of time with my good friend, Matt, before they realized that they both knew me.
Do you have a small world story? I have tons, but unfortunately am too hungry right now to think of any more.

Affirmation

2008-01-10T22:17:00.000-06:00

I believe that God affirms our decisions in one way or another. It's a way of him reminding us that he's on our side, that he loves us and will never leave us. My decisions for the last few months have been consistently affirmed by God. Words can't describe my experiences over the last few months. Each decision has been graciously affirmed and I am really looking forward to see what happens next. Although admittedly, I'm a little fearful that it will be something really not good - so part of this blog is a reminder of the joys of God these months so that I can look back and use them to get me through a tough time.

I tried to explain these last few months to my dear friend Matt Pritchard last night during a debrief conversation, and am glad that he just knew what I was talking about. the best way for me to attempt to share with you is by remembering a scene from the movie Hope Floats. Sandra Bullock's character tells her daughter that she always thought she was meant to be something great and extraordinary, but in the grand picture she wasn't something great, she was just a woman. But when I look at her character, she was something great....

I always thought and still think that I was meant to be something great and extraordinary. As I'm growing up a little, I realize that my idea of "great" isn't what I really wanted or what God wanted for me. But - with God in me, I am great. It's not really me though - it's God. The every day miracles that I see around me are what he created me to be a part of, and that is extraordinary. From a friend at work who wants to share her life story, to the guy who eats dinner by himself and notices that I enjoy my job. My job isn't to make great tips (but it really helps so please tip well :) ), but to just love the people that are in my presence each day. And God doing that in me - is always extraordinary. And people know it. The next lesson is to learn how to teach those people that I'm not just a good waitress, but that Jesus Christ lives in me and is the one that is loving them through me. Not easy in 20 minutes of a dining experience or conversation, so let's see if we can keep the conversation going. I hope that the Greatness of God will also extend past Applebee's and to my family, neighbors, and other community. I hope that for you also!

Off to a long weekend trip with dear friends for a wedding. Pictures will come next week, sorry for the day Ruhiyyih! Oh - and since you're one of the few that reads this - I want to say that I appreciate your cleanliness around the house. It certainly is helping me at this stage of my life, since I'm not as clean as others in my community. :-) Working on it though! Love ya girl.

Rewind

2008-01-09T11:09:00.000-06:00

Thanks to my cousins, I am now able to download photos that I've taken since moving to Nashville. Enjoy the photos of my first Thanksgiving here!

Appreciation

2008-01-08T21:36:00.000-06:00

I appreciate people who work together. Life isn't meant to be lived on our own. Tonight, when the pregnant woman with the broken tailbone came to work anyway - no one offered to help her out. I don't believe that's Jesus.

There are, however, times when people do come together. Like helping each other roll silverware to make the job go faster, or taking a table for someone when they are feeling sick, or helping to figure out who stole your server book to take your tips for the night. People are meant to come together and serve each other, were we created for anything else?

On a similar note, I believe that God comes to us in different ways. Such as a distant friend who encourages us at just the right moment, or putting something in our way to slow us down when we are too busy and try to rush into things. For example (of course - did you think this just came out of no where?), when I moved to Nashville 2 months ago I was ready to jump into anything and everything. I had enough of the slowness that I experienced in D. C. I didn't want to spend 2 years finding friends, being 23 and going on zero dates, working in a job I didn't enjoy, or waiting to be involved in a church community. Oh No - I wanted everything to happen all at once, and I was determined to make it so. God has done a fabulous job of slowing me down, while still fulfilling my needs for relationships and money.

Here's to Jesus - the author and finisher of our faith - and his father who never stops loving me in ways that I didn't know I needed.

Midnight Thoughts

2008-01-07T00:44:00.000-06:00

I have too many thoughts on my mind right now to attempt sleeping. I read, then watched a movie, journaled, and now it's blog time.

I have moved on in my job at Applebee's and am now waitressing and working in the kitchen instead of hosting, and loving it most of the time. Mostly, I love getting to know my coworkers. They have great stories and I love loving them. I've served some really cool people, too!

I've started to think about where and when I want to move to my own place here in Nashvegas. I finally found a church home, which will help. I was bursting full of joy and energy after attending this church tonight. I know that God is calling me to this community, he made it clear to many in miraculous ways. I already know at least 7 people in this church, and that was before I met others tonight! This community resembles the community I was a part of in D. C., and I am anxious to become involved. Plus, it meets at night so I can now work Sunday mornings and minister to the church crowd! I have always heard bad stories about the church crowd at restaurants, now is my chance to see how much truth is in that and to see how God can influence those stories through me.

This weekend I had many special privileges that I would like to tell you about. Friday night, I got to see my friend Roger and meet his lovely esposa, Holly. We had a great time of conversation along with Molly and Justin - my precious friends here in Nashville. Saturday I had an exhausting day of serving, but it ended with an amazingly deep conversation with one of the cooks. Less than two hours later, I was on the dance floor learning the cha-cha and showing off my swing dancing moves with my friend Luke. He's a great dancer, ladies! We topped the night off with ice cream and conversation. (can you tell I love conversation?)

Today - well, yesterday - I thoroughly enjoyed a Sabbath. After sleeping in, I watched movies with my cousin-in-law, then it was off to meet my new church community!

It's been a full weekend for me here! I feel richly blessed and full of joy. Although, I must admit, there is much on my mind regarding relationships here in Nashville. I appreciate prayers as I continue to settle in this new town and seek out God in new ways.

Peace be with you!

Disclaimer: As much as I don't want to sleep right now, I'm pretty tired so I'm not writing all that well. I hope you still enjoyed it!

Killer Bunnies

2007-12-23T17:54:00.000-06:00

This game absolutely beats monopoly in my book. I can't really stand to play monopoly, truthfully. But I really love Killer Bunnies. I usually lose because I kill too many bunnies and then people try and get revenge. But I don't care. It's absolutely worth my time. Check it out and play it with all your friends.

Addition and Food for Thought

2007-12-19T16:49:00.001-06:00

My dear friend reminded me that I left something out of my favorite things list. I have no clue how I could possibly not put this on the list...

12. Dancing!! Particularly Swing and Merengue. Just can't get any better than that.

And some food for thought:

"The world in which you were born is just one model of reality.

Other Cultures are not failed attempts at being you:
They are unique manifestations of the human spirit."

Wade Davis

Two more days until I'm with the fam for Christmas!

These are a few of my favorite things...

2007-12-18T23:09:00.000-06:00

Things on my favorites list in no particular order:

1. The Alchemist by Paul Cohelo
2. Boundaries by Drs. Cloud and Townsend
3. Experiencing another country and culture
4. Being myself
5. Loving people
6. Chocolate and peanut butter
7. Checking my email
8. Real friends
9. Food - particularly pesto sauces and gallo pinto (not together!)
10. Making graham-cracker houses for Christmas
11. Making mistakes - maybe not my favorite thing to do, but something I seem to participate in on a daily basis. Might as well add it to the list!

Applebees is fun it's true!

2007-12-15T21:06:00.000-06:00

Tonight was my last night of server training at good 'ol Applebee's. I've been working there for a bit now as a Hostess, and have spent time working for the kitchen. I'm now officially a server. That is....if I pass my final exam. I really never liked tests, which is partly why I didn't go to grad school. I like learning by doing - not by studying. Tomorrow I will memorize what ingredients create a Perfect Margarita and a Long Island Ice Tea - Top Shelf, of course. Then I take that test so that I can serve my own tables tomorrow night. Please come visit me sometime! I promise you'll get great service. :-) Maybe I'll even give you a free Sunday and sing you the birthday song.

Brand Jesus at Christmas

2007-12-06T16:29:00.000-06:00

I finally went to my first Emergent Cohort meeting! I have been waiting three months to be able to go. Today we talked with the author of Brand Jesus. We discussed consumerism and Christianity, particularly relating to Christmas.

I have never thought so much about how my buying choices say something about who I am. Just the way that I dress, even if my clothes were given to me, dictate so much about my personality. The world has created a consumeristic culture, even when donating to charity. Everything about the way we live is related to consumerism. Something to think about when shopping....

Why don't you wear a head covering?

2007-12-03T11:09:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago I went on a spiritual retreat. I needed to get away and have some time, just Jesus and I. I headed out to beautiful Falls Mill for a Sunday, but did not plan very well. I arrived early, around 9:00, to find out that they did not open until 12:30. On to plan B. I started driving and praying that God would show me a place where I could stop and worship Him. I meant a park or rest stop where I would be comfortable in my jeans, sweatshirt, and tennis shoes.

Instead, God sent me to a Mennonite church. Since I'm a member of the Mennonite church, I thought that would be perfect. And it was. Only - this was a traditional Mennonite church. I sat on the women's side, of course, surrounded by women and children with long hair in buns wearing head coverings and simple skirts. The worship service was very simple and traditional. A capela music, only men leading the worship. There were several lessons, which I took notes on. They were just what I needed to hear that day. Also, I showed up on communion day. They only take communion twice a year, it includes public confession and feet washing.

How beautiful to hear individuals stand up and say to the church "I have confessed my sins, should any of my brothers or sisters find something impure with me, I ask that they bring it to my attention. I would like to participate in communion." (that's the best I can remember what was actually said.)

After several reverant prayers and songs, communion, and feet washing, the service ended. Unfortunately, I did not feel that I should stay for the celebration dinner that followed. My fellow believers did offer to make me a plate of food. They were so kind and loving to me, even though I obviously stood out like the terrible burn on my finger right now. I did have the opportunity to explain why I was there, which I'm sure was passed around after I left.

If you ever have the opportunity to visit a Mennonite church, I highly recommend it. I also recommend dressing a little nicer, simpler, than I happened to that day! It was a joyous experience which I am grateful for. Worshiping with other believers and fellow Mennonites was a God-given beginning to my spiritual retreat.

Job Searching

2007-12-01T11:51:00.000-06:00

So, I'm in the middle of searching for a "real" job right now. Working at Applebee's as their favorite hostess helps to keep me busy and brings in some money, but I moved here to work with at-risk teens. There aren't many of those at Applebee's, although my coworkers definitely have their issues (don't we all?).

I have sent out only a dozen resumes, and have kind of burnt out the last two weeks. There is a place I want to work for, but I haven't heard back from them yet (and yes, I followed-up). Then there is the place who offered me a job....I should probably pursue that a little more. However, the administrator made it very clear that working there would not be the place for me. Then there's....the third place. A place where I could probably get a job if I chased after it. After visiting the program though, I'm not so sure that it is a program I can support.

Here is where YOU come in. Please leave me a comment and let me know what your opinion is. Should I accept a job because it's a job, and some experience, or should I hold out for something that I can support and be happy doing, even if that doesn't come along quickly?

Moving Woes

2007-11-30T10:07:00.000-06:00

I've learned from my friend, Nancy, the benefits of a top-ten list. Here's my first! The top 10 reasons to re-consider moving.

Purchasing new auto insurance
Changing residency - new Driver's liscense
Registering my car in a new state
Meeting new people
Finding my way around a new city
Job search
Health insurance
Unpacking - or in my case, trying to find what I need that is still in storage
Finding a church
New budget

It's amazing how much time all of this takes! As a dear friend taught me, just take the list one thing at a time. It will all eventually get done. But if you are considering a move, be prepared to spend lots of time cutting through red tape!

AL/TN update

2007-11-28T23:29:00.001-06:00

update 2

My sis in DC

2007-11-28T23:27:00.000-06:00

Finally! New Photos!!

Adventure + Decisions

2007-10-18T22:33:00.000-05:00

I had quite the adventurous day yesterday. Between an extensive tour of a violin-making shop, an afternoon in a recording studio, and a trip to my next temporary home, I managed to have 3 job interviews. What a day!

So the question of the day is - which is more important: Working for money or working for what I believe in?

This job search process is proving to be a great learning experience. If I get offered all 3 of the jobs, do I take the one that pays me the most or the one that will probably pay me the least but I value the organization more? What if my value judgement turns out to be wrong? It seems that my idea of what I want in a job isn't what others are telling me that I should look into. It's at times like these when I must pass along the wisdom that my dear friend once gave to me.

"If you hear God telling you to do something, and everyone else tells you to do something else, I don't care what they say or how convincing their argument is. You do what you know you need to do. "

Love v. Selfishness

2007-10-12T09:58:00.001-05:00

Last weekend, we went to visit my cousin for her 2nd birthday. I'm having trouble uploading the photo, but I'll try again soon.

All last week I worked for a law firm as their secretary. And remembered why I left administrative work. By the end of the week I had sent out 3 more resumes. Now I have 2 job interviews in Nashville! Hopefully those will lead to more interviews and I'll eventually get a job. I'll be in Nashville by early Novemeber. It's been a long transition.

I'm learning a lot about love lately. I'm in this class at church called "motives for living". It's led by a counselor and we're talking about love and selfishness. I'm seeing how selfish I am and ways to change that. Mostly, I'm learning about how to love the unlovable. For me, that means loving people who think they have God figured out, but in my opinion are missing a lot of freedom and life. Then I realize that I'm being selfish/ judgemental in my attitudes toward these people and I'm not any better than they are. This whole life thing is not that easy, is it?

Sweet Home Alabama... for now.

2007-09-12T11:06:00.000-05:00

I made it to Alabama! I'm enjoying my Aunt and Uncle's house and relaxing as I try to figure out what to do next. The trip here went great. At least, for me it did. My cousin drove the entire trip! Pictures to be posted later. Thanks to Sam, Carrie, Shea, and Kendria for helping to pack up the truck!

The Countdown

2007-09-06T12:01:00.000-05:00

So I leave from Arlington, VA in two days to restart in Nashville, TN. I'm feeling a little nervous - mostly about trying to get everything done that needs to be done in the next 2 days. My cousin will be joining me tomorrow for some final sightseeing. I've been spending time with friends, and yesterday had the privledge of spending the afternoon with my favorite family here. Next week will be full of all new things. Actually getting to know my relatives, job-hunting, house-hunting, new communities, trying to remember the street names, and all of those little things that happen with a move. Here's to change!

Better Photos

2007-09-02T22:35:00.001-05:00

My housemmate, Rose, decided to practice her mad hair-styling skills on my new haircut. Here are the results.

Value of a haircut

2007-09-02T14:30:00.000-05:00

So I was feeling like something needed to change yesterday afternoon. Less than 20 minutes later I was sititng in the mall at the Hair Cuttery. Another 20 minutes later - 10+inches of my hair was completely gone. This picture doesn't do it justice, but you get the idea.

Off to watch a movie with my housies! Enjoy the photo and the future updates as I grow my hair back.

Facebook

2007-08-31T10:30:00.000-05:00

I certainly do love Facebook. I mean, where else can I have 248 friends in one place? Or spend an entire morning in a Poke war with my little sister? Or get jealous that some girl leaves 10 messages a day on the wall of the man I have a crush on? Facebook - what would I do without you?

I'd probably play more music. And finish that craft project. I'd probably start new projects or ...watch more movies.

But I do love that technology has now allowed me to keep in touch quickly and easily with that girl from grade school who I haven't seen or talked to since fourth grade. Relationships are important to me, and how would I be able to keep in touch with 248 people without technology?

In all seriousness, I do love that I can keep in touch with my dearest friends more than the February Christmas letter. So here's a toast to Facebook. Kyla has thrown a fish at you.

Packing, packing oh how I love packing

2007-08-30T14:53:00.000-05:00

One never really knows exactly how much stuff they own until they begin to pack it. I've been spending my free time packing up my things into boxes. This means taking things off of the walls, raiding the kitchen for all supplies with my name on them, cleaning out the dvd cabinet. You all know what it's like. Somehow I feel like I have too many things, yet I'm not planning on getting rid of anything. I am even renting a truck so that I can take it all to Nashville with me.

The more I pack, the more I start to realize that yes, I am moving. That means leaving community and familiarity behind for something new and completely unknown. I was pretty confident about this last week, but with only one week to go - my nerves are kicking in. However, it helps when I give myself a pep-talk.

"Kyla, the timing is right. Many pieces of the puzzle are fitting together. God is great and has taken care of the details. Your friends will still keep in touch. This is a new adventure that has been already blessed. Have fun with it!"

Welcome to Blogging, Kyla!

2007-08-30T14:13:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've joined the great wide world of blogging. I really have no idea how this works, and not many people will read my blog site, so I'm just posting this random message to get started. Have a great day!