What's my reaction time?

Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Seriously, how does he do that?
There are so many times that the Bible mentions the word Anger. This must be a real issue for us mortals. I'm learning about my anger tonight. I'm not an angry person by nature, but there are certain things that really set me off. Then once I'm angry, I'm extremely angry. Although thankfully, it doesn't take long for me to cool down. I just have to talk it out once with one person for 20 minutes or so and I'm good.

I'm angry when someone hurts another person and I see it happen. I'm angry if it's out of my control. I want to say something, to change or fix the situation, but sometimes we just can't do that. I'm angry when someone acts purposefully to hurt another. And once I'm angry - watch out! I'm extremely angry and am not afraid to say something hurtful. How hypocritical.

Luke 6:42
How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I'm not sure where to draw the line between admitting that I have done something wrong, and pointing out another person's wrongs. Sometimes people just don't know that they've been an idiot. If you don't know, I'd be glad to point it out. However, that won't always help, will it. Just like I had to figure out my stupid mistakes for myself, you'll have to figure out your own. I just wish we could all save each other some heartache by trusting each other enough to be truthful and facilitate great change.

Hebrews 3:12-14 (Darby Translation)

12See, brethren, lest there be in any one of you a wicked heart of unbelief, in turning away from [the] living God. 13But encourage yourselves each day, as long as it is called To-day, that none of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 14For we are become companions of the Christ if indeed we hold the beginning of the assurance firm to the end;

*biblegateway.com

Hearing God's Heart

I was a little angry with God last night. Several of my friends are going through some trying times. Deaths in the family, overabundance of stress, life transitions, etc are bringing them to a point of constant turmoil. Although I didn't blame God, I was angry with him for allowing these events to occur. As I was expressing my frustrations to Him this morning on my way to work, I surprised myself by asking "where have you been? Don't you see that your people are hurting? Why aren't you hearing their hearts?" The response surprised me more than me asking question.

"Kyla, where have you been? Why haven't you listened to MY heart?"

In that moment I realized what I've always known but never understood. God wants my love and care just as much as I want his. He is experiencing trials and frustrations every waking second. He is watching people suffer with life all over the world. What have I done to care for God's heart? In the same way that I want to encourage and support my dear friends through their trials, maybe God wants me to encourage and support Him. Does He need or want that from me? What would it look like for me to say "wow, that must have really hurt you to see her suffer. To see him in pain. To see them in torment. How you must be heart broken."

The joy is that there is redemption for our pain. God did send Christ to save the world, and in the end, the pain and suffering will be no more. But for now, I will weep with Him for the world and remember that part of my responsibility here is to love Him by the way I love others.

On the lighter side:
My coworker tried to convince me tonight that the reason I'm "happy all the time" is because I smoke marijuana. I wonder what I would be like if I really did smoke? I had the pleasure of telling him where my true joy comes from. He said he understood because he also believes in Jesus. I just hope that one day this man will experience the difference between believing in Jesus and knowing Him! But until then - let's just hope that he at least knows that I'm not a drug addict. Unless marijuana really isn't a drug....but that's a discussion for another day.