Hearing God's Heart

I was a little angry with God last night. Several of my friends are going through some trying times. Deaths in the family, overabundance of stress, life transitions, etc are bringing them to a point of constant turmoil. Although I didn't blame God, I was angry with him for allowing these events to occur. As I was expressing my frustrations to Him this morning on my way to work, I surprised myself by asking "where have you been? Don't you see that your people are hurting? Why aren't you hearing their hearts?" The response surprised me more than me asking question.

"Kyla, where have you been? Why haven't you listened to MY heart?"

In that moment I realized what I've always known but never understood. God wants my love and care just as much as I want his. He is experiencing trials and frustrations every waking second. He is watching people suffer with life all over the world. What have I done to care for God's heart? In the same way that I want to encourage and support my dear friends through their trials, maybe God wants me to encourage and support Him. Does He need or want that from me? What would it look like for me to say "wow, that must have really hurt you to see her suffer. To see him in pain. To see them in torment. How you must be heart broken."

The joy is that there is redemption for our pain. God did send Christ to save the world, and in the end, the pain and suffering will be no more. But for now, I will weep with Him for the world and remember that part of my responsibility here is to love Him by the way I love others.

On the lighter side:
My coworker tried to convince me tonight that the reason I'm "happy all the time" is because I smoke marijuana. I wonder what I would be like if I really did smoke? I had the pleasure of telling him where my true joy comes from. He said he understood because he also believes in Jesus. I just hope that one day this man will experience the difference between believing in Jesus and knowing Him! But until then - let's just hope that he at least knows that I'm not a drug addict. Unless marijuana really isn't a drug....but that's a discussion for another day.

Oh How He Loves You And Me

Do you know the song?
Oh how he loves you and me
Oh how he loves you and me
He gave his life,
What more could He give?

God certainly knows how to love on us, doesn't he? Not only did he give everything for us, as the song above says, but he knows when we need some extra loving, and knows exactly how to do that. Allow me to explain further.

Everyone has there bad days, and I definitely have my share of them. However, yesterday was an extremely low day for me. So many things piled on at once, and to top that off, the day was dreary and gray with rain. It's been months and months since I've cried, and that's all I wanted to do yesterday. I was emotionally exhausted and at the end of my rope. You get the picture.

I worked a double shift yesterday. The morning and Applebee's and the evening at my new job, with an hour to rest in between. Beginning with Applebee's, people just loved on me all day long. Through hugs and words of encouragement, God just piled it on! I even had an excellent "interview" with the top dogs at Applebee's to talk about management (don't ask). It seemed everyone had something good to say, and we were busy enough to help me keep my mind off of my emotions as well.

Then there was the new job - New Orleans Manor (check it out - great food). On day 2 there, the cook heard my request from earlier in the week and brought in platanos, or plantains, to share. He took much effort to make me a special dish, a sopapilla with ice cream and plantains. He put a lot of effort and time into this dish, and it was worth every minute. This was the best part of my day, and quite possibly the week. I wish you could have tried it, as every bite said "God loves you"

My day ended wonderfully, my GM told me I could rest this morning and took me off of the schedule, so now I'm at home, feeling loved and calm, and looking forward to a splendid day. I know I'm loved, and my prayer is that today you will know this also.

Thank you for tulips

A wonderful follow-up to my previous post that needs to be shared. This was emailed to me from someone I can't wait to meet. Enjoy and leave your comments.

Let us also contribute to the conversation on relationships as a reflection on metaphors...when looking for analogies about relationships it is very tempting to use subjects of means i.g. cars, houses, books, refrigerators, computers, what have you. All of things of ownership, which are judged and critiqued based on a variety of criteria and merit. Further, all these object/things are not ends in themselves...but means to ends i.e. cars for transportation, houses for shelter, refrigerators for keeping alcohol cold. It's tempting to treat people in this same manner (despite how much you are trying to be considerate)... whether they are friends, family, or strangers. This person is good because they look X, or they are great because they do Y, they have Z and said 123. We then can check (or uncheck) our 'consumer report' to identify whether they meet, exceed, or fail standard specifications.

I would suggest we adopt a different paradigm for synthesizing your relationships between sexes, friends, family etc. Might we use organic metaphors of biology...things that grow and transform. Things that change and surprise us. Things which cause us to be more reflective on how we interact...things that cant necessarily be owned and controlled. Plants for example. Just because Idon't think it's beautiful today doesn't mean it wont be beautiful tomorrow (and vice versa). As a tree grows, it will never be the tree of yesterday. My perspective and perceptions change as it changes, as does my personal relationships. I care for them for what they ARE, and not what they can or cant do for me...or what i can or cant make them do.

Looking at women as cars has typically been a misogynistic perspective. You keep cars in the garage, you use them for own image, or use them to do whatever you want them to do. Let's adopt metaphors which contribute value to both sexes...and encourages to see all people with inherent value because of what they are and not for another reason.
-Jesse Walls

An another note - I want to say Thanks to God for the wonderful things he has done.

• My friend Roger will be going home soon after living away from his wife for many months!
• I was given a second job after praying that I needed a job to fall into my lap. Not exactly what I was looking for, but God knows better than me.
• A fantastic sister and friend who knew what to say at the right time to help me clarify my thoughts and give me peace about a situation.
• Two years of living and working in DC which transformed me in miraculous ways.
• He spoke Spanish through me at a crucial event which I was not capable of translating for.
• Developing of relationships
• Time
• Bringing me to a place where I know without a doubt that I am exactly where He wants me to be.
  

Notes from the CCCU fan club

You know you've worked at the CCCU when....

• You cry when you find out that the home staff has changed and someone is moving on.
• You attend a random required restaurant class and find yourself begging someone to go to RSP before even mentioning MESP.
  
• You mention the above and the random person never even asked you about studying abroad in the first place, but you noticed that they attend a CCCU school.
• It's strange to you that your co-workers don't know or care about the confusion in your life.
• You see a picture of yourself with Marge and you try and yell to the other room to ask her a question.
• Your date doesn't really know you until he says "I'll c - c- c- u - later"
  
• Your date thinks that Potts is what you cook in and TMatt is a fancy word for coaster.

Reflexiones

Hoy, te escribo en español. No he escribido en español hace mucho tiemp, entonces por ustedes que en verdad entienden, disculpame por mi gramatica fea.

Estoy pensando mucho en cosas Latinos esos dias. Estoy segura que saben del resignación de Fidel Castro. La verdad es que estoy un poco triste, por que es el fin de un tiempo misteriosa en la vida del país. Mucho ha pasado en los años del Fidel. Hizó muchos cambios, algunas buenas y algunas malas (como los presidentes de los estados unidos, ¿no?). Me interese que pasará en este año en Cuba. Anoche soné de Cuba y estoy esperando que un día cuando puedo visitar este país magnifico.

En otras noticias, mi mamá me llamó y me dijó que usé demasiados minutos en mi celular, entonces tengo q encontrar dos más trabajos para pagarlo. Mi oracion este día es por un trabajo nuevo y bueno que me encanta y que me pagan suficiente.

Psalm.

I call to the Lord for help;
I plead with him.
I bring him all my complaints;
I tell him all my troubles.
When I am ready to give up,
he knows what I should do.

Lord, I cry to you for help;
you, Lord, are my protector;
you are all I want in this life.
Listen to my cry for help,
for I am sunk in despair.
Save me from my enemies;
they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my distress;
then in the assembly of your people I will praise you
because of your goodness to me.

I will proclaim your greatness, my God and king;
I will thank you forever and ever.
Every day I will, thank you;
I will praise you forever and ever.

The Lord is great and is to be highly praised;
his greatness is behone understanding.
What you have done will be praised from one generation to the next;
they will proclaim your mighty acts.

They will speak of your glory and majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.
People will speak of your mighty deeds,
and I will proclaim your greatness.
They will tell about all your goodness
and sing about your kindness.

Your rule is eternal, and you are king forever.
The Lord is faithful to his promises;
he is merciful in alll his acts.
He helps those who are in trouble;
he lifts those who have fallen.

Don't put your trust in human leaders;
no human being can save you.
When they die, they return to the dust;
on that day all their plans come to an end.

The Lord sets prisoners free
and gives sight to the blind.
He lifts those who have fallen;
he loves his righteous people.
He protects the strangers who live in our land;
he helps widows and orphans,
but takes the wicked to their ruin.
The Lord is king forever.
Your God, O Zion, will reign for all time.

Praise the Lord!

Portions of Psalm 142, 145, and 146

An All-around Good Day

Yesterday started off waking up at my dear friend's house, after a night of brownies and a great movie. Thanks, girl - that was fun! From there I headed home to read a good book, attempt a crockpot meal for the first time (it turned out badly, in my opinion), and spend time with my housemate. For lunch I enjoyed a Vegetarian hotdog at I Dream of Weanie in Five Points with a friend from college. I ran into this woman and her husband earlier this week at a restaurant. It turns out they live very close to me! What great news. After hot dogs, we enjoyed many of the local shops including The Groove , Great Stuff!, The Trunip Truck, and a Wine shop. We were killing time so that we could have ice cream at Pied Piper, the local homemade ice cream shop. I can't wait to grocery shop at the Turnip Truck, or go on more dates at Pied Piper. I live in the best part of Nashville right here - come and visit!

After lunch I felt a sense of accomplishment when I broke out the sewing machine and fixed a shirt for work. I'm finally moved in.

A friend of mine is remodeling a house and attempting to live in it at the same time. Yesterday was a break-through day with the purchase of appliances and the painting of the kitchen. I don't like to see my friends stressed, and I know that was a huge stress-reliever. Congrats on being one step closer to a completed home!

At work last night, one of my favorite families that I serve came in. It was their daughter's 6th birthday and she wanted to eat at Applebee's so that I could sing to her. What a joy that was to have a little girl excited to take pictures with me for her birthday. I'm also invited to the birthday party tomorrow, and I just might go.

Last but definitely not least - my dad received a promotion yesterday! My parents will be moving across state in the spring. A little intimidating for them, but this is the right timeing. I am so excited for them and can't wait to help move. Congratulations, Dad! I'm so proud of you!