Friday, July 18, 2008

Anxious

This week I've been dealing with a great deal of anxiety. Mostly over relationships. Okay, so it's all because of relationships. I've told myself many times that I don't have to worry, but that hasn't seemed to help. I've listened to sermons online every day at work, and have been digging into scriptures. However, I still kept hoping that I could figure this out on my own. I knew the scripture "do not be anxious about anything..." and thought "yeah, yeah. I know. But I really don't want to think about that right now, I can figure something out on my own."

How silly is that?

I don't want to be anxious, but I refuse to trust in what I know will take away the anxiety. Being human is such a mess.

So today I gave in and typed in 'anxiety' at Biblegateway.com and of course, found the passage below.

Phillipians 4
5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The passage reads differently to me while I'm in the midst of great anxiety than it did when I memorized it as a child. It helps to read a verse in context, I only knew verse 6.

The Lord is near.
He is here with me, in the midst of my thoughts and desires. He knows and sees me. I am not alone.

with thanksgiving
I can already thank the Lord for hearing my prayers and responding to them. I have faith that he will do what I ask for, and the result will be astounding. I don't need to worry about figuring out my relationship issues on my own - why should I worry myself about something that's already under control by someone much more capable than myself?

peace of God
Life without worry or anxiety. Quiet, still. Like the hammock under my apple tree.



transcends all understanding
I'll never figure it out. And I don't have to.

guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus
Ah. So I don't have to guard my own heart. Christ can do it for me. I just have to live each day with Him.

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