A most insincere apology

Dear blogspot,

I apologize for leaving you. However, I have decided to move on to bigger and better things. My friends are there, and truthfully, it's much prettier. I'm still working on making it look perfect, but you're welcome to visit any time. Let this be my last message to you. So to you, blogspot, may Google never control my life and may we never meet again.
Sincerely,
www.kylajoyful.wordpress.com

One man's opinion.

Yes.



See this guy's blog.

Peace v. Sword

Matthew 10:34-36

34"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn " 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - 36a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.

As a pacifist, I have to admit that I just don't understand this passage. At all. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Mercy Ministries

I had the priveledge of having lunch with the ladies of Mercy Ministries. An organization I've known about and followed for awhile. I was led to their site this week and that set off a series of events. Enjoy the following description, and, if you're not involved in giving financially to an organization yet, I highly recommend this one.

"For over 25 years, Mercy Ministries of America has provided hope and healing to generations of desperate young women who are seeking freedom from life-controlling problems such as:
Drug & Alcohol Addictions, Eating Disorders, Depression, Unplanned pregnancy, Physical & Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm.

Our free-of-charge program serves a diverse population of young women from various socio-economic backgrounds, aged 13-28. Many of the girls, who come to Mercy for help, are facing a combination of debilitating circumstances and have been in various treatment facilities with unsuccessful long-term results. We are committed to providing the young women we serve with the most excellent program services that allow them to recognize their self-worth and prepare them to reach their full potential. Our non-conventional approach to healing allows young women to permanently stop destructive cycles and prepares them to take hope out into their communities."

Check them out.

Purpose and Affirmation

Yesterday during lunch, God and I had a little discussion. It consisted of me being frustrated with the purpose of life. Not just life in general, but my life. Through some of the things I've been reading lately, I'm seeing the world in terms of people groups, not individual people. This made me angry with God (or more specifically, angry at my lack of understanding) that he has created the world in a way where large groups of people matter, but individuals don't so much. Repeatedly, I thought of the people we never hear about - 13 year old Israelite girls who wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, 11 year old girls in the middle of the Congo who are caring for all of their family during a war, etc. The people that God allows to be tortured and suffer, along with their families. For what?

Then back to me - where do I fit in this world? What is my part besides living every day, attempting to pay off my school debt, and being kind to the people around me? Is there really any point to it all? Combine these thoughts with my own insecurities, and I was feeling just plain lost and frustrated.

Last night I went to my final CASA training. The last few weeks have been glorious as I've gone through this training. As time-consuming as it was, each class just filled me with joy as I saw that this is what brings me joy and fills my soul with passion. So at the last class a few things happened. There was a poem. Written in spanish, translated into English. As the only Spanish speaker in the room, I read it out loud, and was greatly encouraged when one of the CASA employeers pulled me aside and expressed that I speak beautiful spanish. Where did I learn it? This is going to be so good and helpful.
Fast forward 30 minutes to a group activity.

We were practing parts of a investigating a case. The group was to select a spokesperson to deliver the rest of the information. When we sat down to get started, the first thing someone said was "before we even get started I think Kyla needs to be our spokesperson, so let's just get that out of the way now". Okay, this might seem small, but felt significant. The last few weeks I've been slowly gaining confidence in my abilities, and only a few minutes before the group had eloquently given my thoughts about the quote "Work for justice, act with mercy". I have been affirmed over and over through this class that this is the field I was created to work in.
Sense of purpose? Affirmation and love from God?
I think He deserves some credit on this one. Father, thank you for loving me enough to give me affirmation and encouragement exactly when I need and ask for it.

Libertion Theology

Currently reading...
Here's an excerpt from the introduction, page 14.

"Third world Christians think that people like us read the Bible from the vantage point of our privilege and comfort and screen out those parts that threaten us. They tell us that the basic viewpoint of the biblical writers is that of victims, those who have been cruelly used by society, the poor and oppressed. They further tell us that they are the contemporary counterparts of those biblical victims, cruelly used by contemporary society, the poor and oppressed. Consequently, when they hear the Bible offering hope and liberation to the oppressed of the ancient world, they hear hope and liberation being offered to them as the oppressed of the contemporary world. If God sided with the oppressed back then, they believe God continues to side with the oppressed here and now.

Is that what the Bible is really all about? Enough third world Christians are saying so, and living changed lives as a result, to impel us to explore the matter and see whether there might be a new word for us as well. We will do this by taking ten familiar biblical episodes and trying to see them through new eyes. The passages have been chosen both because they are important to third world Christians and because they are familiar to us. The texts give us a common meeting ground to compare different interpretations. As we see how others read the Bible, we may get a new understanding of what the biblical message says to us."
Unexpected News: Reading the Bible with Third World Eyes, Robert McAfee Brown

Word Made Flesh

"We are called by Jesus Christ to birth communities which practice the presence and proclamation of the Kingdom of God among the poorest of the poor. These Kingdom communities will be placed and nurtured within the Two-Thirds World mega-cities. We believe nationals have the greatest opportunity for the intense identification necessary for on-going transformation among the urban poor.

Our method is incarnational.

Our means is community.

Our involvement includes advocacy for the poor, ministries of compassion and proclamation of the Good News. We exist that Jesus, the Living Word, be made flesh. Word Made Flesh seeks to enter these regions and others, to serve the poor by pioneering and partnering in mission while seeking to make Jesus, the living Word, flesh among the poor."

check it out: Wordmadeflesh.org

Food for Thought

This made me think a little. Thought I'd share.

Shout-out to Quality

As you may have noticed, I recently discovered the joys of the blog world. Sad, since it's been around for years, but I seem to have a little more time to committ to the online realm of communication nowdays. I've stumbled onto some excellent conversations, and find more daily. If you think of a blog that I may enjoy, feel free to post a comment and let me know about it!

Here are two that I think deserve a special shout-out.

Wonderings of a Wanderer

"As I am writing this, it seems, that I am simply rehashing a few Sunday School clichés. But there is such reassurance when you let the truth sink in. These last couple of weeks have been trying to say the least. But we have to remember that the life we have been given is not our own. God has purpose in everything. And his purposes are good."

KJ commentary: This is a blog of dear friends from my community. Not only does Eric have the best blogroll around (to keep me entertained if he hasn't posted for a few days), but his honest thoughts and opinions always encourage me in my spiritual journey.

Movement, Movement

"What if we were just for a hypothetical moment to consider some of our most entrenched beliefs to be wrong? What would life look like through that lens? What would our friends and family look like though that lens?

Would we, in knowing we could be wrong, be more honest? More transparent? More humble? More graceful? More dependent on each other?"

KJ Commentary: Now I wish I could say I know this guy. I feel like I do most days. Most of my friends have him listed on their blogroll so I stumbled into the relationship. Amos keeps my day moving forward with his entertaining comments, photos, and videos. Thank you, blogger, for telling me when there's been an update.

The unfortunate thing about this online realm, is that I don't have the priveledge of having in-person conversations with some of these people. But there are great joys in having the opportunity to know someone I might not have met before. So - stop reading my page and read theirs! You won't be disappointed.

Calling

Career v. Calling
Job v. Vocation

What can I do with this moment?

If God has called me to something, nothing in the world will stop that from happening.

Pray.

Don't force life to happen.

Experience.

Journal.

Engage in conversation.

I'm busy thinking about a lot of things these days. Nothing new, I suppose, since my mind is always traveling faster than my body. After a conversation with a friend over dinner last night, I was reminded of some of the thoughts above. Did you know there is a difference between job and vocation? These are all thoughts I've had before, but that have been lost somewhere in the weeds along the path I've been on the last year.

It's been a rough one, the last year. For many of us. Life continues to suprise us. When we think we've got everything figured out, something new creeps into the pathway. What great joy it is to accept what each day has to offer. It's so easy for me to be frustrated or anxious about what I don't know. It's nice when a friend gently encourages me with a reminder, in a new way, that I live for Christ. And He loves me.

Keilah

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When I met my new friend, Eric, he asked me what my name meant. I gave him the same answer I've always given. "It's from the Bible. 1 Samuel. David saves the city of Kyla".

Everyone has always been okay with that answer. But no, not Eric.

"A biblical name. That's cool. Where is the city of Kyla?"

Where?
Is?
It?

You'd think by now someone would have asked me that. But nope. And I've never thought about it, either. An Old Testament city. End of statement. End of thought.

Eric, being the cool guy that he is, encouraged me to do some research. So I skipped writing the grad school essay after lunch and did just that. I love the internet.

Apparently, it's located in Israel/Palestine, somewhere in between the cities of Beersheba and Hebron. That's not very specific, but hey -I'll take it. There are several descriptions of where it is located, but that research isn't happening today. Let me know if you are an expert in the area and can draw a map. For now, Maps.Google is going to have to suffice.

Reading Material

Two years ago, I read The Alchemist for the first time. The next summer, I read it again. And now I'm picking it up once more. It's amazing to me how this book manages to challenge the core of me. Each paragraph somehow relates to my life at the moment, encouraging me where I'm at. This year, among other things, the more I read the more I'm convinced that I should be reading the Bible constantly. If The Alchemist can reach my innermost thoughts in only 167 pages, God's word must be able to do so much more. Yet somehow I keep putting it off, as author Paulo Coelho has my mind completely immersed in the journey of Santiago.

If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. Originally written in Portuguese, its been translated into fifty-six languages and sold millions of copies. I'd let you borrow my copy, but it's got all of my personal thoughts scribbled through it. Get your own.

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand." p.76

Things I'm Thinking About

Here are a few (okay, many) things I've been thinking about:

- How little I know about what it really means to be healthy

- What does it mean to not run away

- Sometimes it's okay to run away.

- February looks like a good month to buy a house

- Should I buy a car first

- I question the sanity of all persons running for President

- I am really sick of DTRs

- I need to finish that grad school application

- I'll study for the GRE...tomorrow

- Finally, I'm doing things I've always wanted to

- Time for the yearly read of The Alchemist

- My best friend lives too far away

- What does it truly mean to live for today

- How do I love and support those that are close to me

when they make decicions that are opposite my beliefs

- What's for dinner?

There is no place like Nebraska

Dear Old Nebraska U (There Is No Place Like Nebraska)

Words and Music by Harry Pecha, class of 1924

There is no place like Nebraska,

Dear old Nebraska U.

Where the girls are the fairest,

The boys are the squarest,

Of any old school that I knew.

There is no place like Nebraska,

Where they're all true blue.

We'll all stick together,

In all kinds of weather,

For dear old Nebraska U.

I went back to my old stomping grounds over labor day for a short weekend with my family. My friend Molly made the 12-hour trek with me, and we filled up the weekend watching my sis in the UNL marching band and hanging out at the Nebraska State Fair. My camera is currently out of commission, so you'll just have to imagine the pig races for yourself.

Excuse me, may I sit here?

Today I enjoyed a delicious lunch at the Nashville Farmer's Market. Since I sit in an office all day long, I didn't want to waste the sunshine so, naturally, I sat outside for lunch. There were two tables outside that I saw, and one was occupied. From where I sat I could see the lovely Bicentennial mall, and the couple eating lunch at the other table. Now to the point.

What is it about our culture that says in that situation, you're invading someone's space? Now, if I had not been eating alone, it would not have been a "space invasion" at all. However, since I sat alone and just enjoyed the scenery, I'm sure the couple must have thought I was thouroughly enjoying their conversation (I didn't hear any of it, I promise). I truthfully didn't mind the awkwardness, and I'm sure they didn't either. In fact, Eric, being more confident than I today, initiated great conversation.

Still, I wonder, is this delicious awkwardness a human thing or a cultural thing? I'm going with cultural. Maybe we just like our space, or because I was alone and wasn't occupied, I really was only there to listen to their conversation. Or - maybe -because I was alone and unoccupied, I was the only one who thought it a strange situation!

Thank you, Eric, for great conversation and for giving me a topic for yet another blog post. For everyone else - go check out the Farmer's Market. I am taking fresh peaches and pears on my road trip this weekend! Happy Labor Day weekend.

Mercy Ships

Here's a great organization I thought you should know about. Check out their blog here.


MISSION
Mercy Ships, a global charity, has operated a fleet of hospital ships in developing nations since 1978. Following the example of Jesus, Mercy Ships brings hope and healing to the poor, mobilizing people and resources worldwide.


VISION
Mercy Ships seeks to become the face of love in action, bringing hope and healing to the poor.


VALUES
Desiring to follow the example of Jesus, we seek to:
Love God
Love and serve others
Be people of integrity
Be people of excellence in all we say and do

Held

This song by Natalie Grant has been loving on me this week.



Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Yummy goodness

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”- Romans 8:32

Encouragement: ask for only what you need for today.

CASA

Yesterday I officially started training for a nation-wide volunteer program called CASA. Court Appointed Special Advocates work with children who are in the court systems as a result of abuse or neglect. CASA's mission is "to expedite the process through which these abused and neglected children find permanent, safe homes."

I became more and more excited as I sat through the introduction class. Working with children in the court systems has been my dream since I was 15, so this is the perfect opportunity to see if it's something that I will actually enjoy. Check out the program. I'll try to keep you posted on my experiences!

Reconcilliation through Redepmtion

Recently, our church has been talking about Forgiveness and Reconcilliation. Each week I think "that's great - I get it", but I haven't really had to put it into practice. It really isn't as easy as it seemed while I was sitting in the middle of those sermons. However, this week reconcilliation has taken on an entire new meaning....

I hate how you've treated me. And I hate that I allowed you to do it. But I'm finally understanding what this whole "reconcilliation" thing means.

I love Jesus because of what he did for me. I was nothing. And now, through Him, I am beautifully made and whole.

You were nothing. And now, through Him, you are beautifully made and whole.

And I can still hate what has happened.

But I no longer hold it against you.

Through The Cross, I can love you.

Through The Cross, I can forgive you.

Jesus has redeemed you.

You are no longer held responsible for the way you treated me.

Now don't think this means that we are going to be friends. It doesn't even come close to meaning that. We've been through this before and I moved on. We went through it again and I moved on. A third time. How could I be loving to you if I let this happen again? Change has not happened. But it will now.

It's okay if you don't change. I don't expect you to be what I want you to be.

But I don't have to allow this to continue.

You are loved. You are redeemed. You are forgiven.

And I have changed.

I used to love you because of myself. Because I wanted to love you out of my own personality, character, will.

Now I love you because of Jesus. Because of His personality, character, will.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2